Saturday 18 November 2017

Think I could Make a Million?

If you read my blog, you know I'm not a "basher" of any sort, so this is not where I am going with this. But if you are alive and living with , or have lived with, a member of the male species you are already well aware that there is a clear and distinct difference with how men and women think, how they take on tasks, how they prioritize.

I always used to pride myself on being someone who could find things. Seriously, if someone dropped an item and couldn't find it, I was in there, hands and knees, finding it. (These days, I would need to grab my reading glasses for close inspection). If a form, or receipt, or bit of paperwork went missing, I was the locator, eventually holding up the offending article. A familiar call of , "Mom! I can't find my..." was taken care of by me.

Because of this super power of mine, I don't find the regular day to day locating of things like my keys before I leave the house, the newspaper on the porch, the half of a mouse on the back porch mat, a laundry basket in which to put dry clothes a difficult task. In fact, I can find all the necessary food to create supper, or a snack, or any meal. We have two refrigerators. The main one in the kitchen holds 90% of our food and the one out in the mudroom tends to be for extra bags of milk, beer, an extra container of strawberries because there was a sale on if you buy two, the bag of apples because it takes up too much space in the other fridge... The food that does not need refrigeration has a few other locations, but none of them are top secret or require a map to get to.

So why is it that my husband cannot find things in the fridge? One day when I was cutting up fresh veggies for lunches, I made some extra containers and left one in the fridge for my husband. I asked him later if he liked his veggies and he said he couldn't find them. Along with the obligatory eye roll, I joked if it was because I hadn't left them at eye-level in front of everything else in the fridge. And that's when it occurred to me how I am going to make my million dollars!

I present to you a rough mock up of... The Man Fridge.


The Man Fridge is wider than most regular refrigerators. The first key thing to note about The Man Fridge is that it is to be mounted on the wall at eye level. This must be determined first upon receiving the appliance by measuring the dominant male in the household and then adhered to strictly during installation. 

The Man Fridge consists of four clear glass doors so that the contents of the fridge can be seen from the outside. The glass doors are opened by using a remote!!! A lifetime supply of batteries is also worked into the purchase price. 

Now, here's the second key feature to The Man Fridge. It is only the depth of one large Costco size bottle (of olives that nobody wants, or Stubb's Barbecue sauce, purchased only because it is fun to say in a low-voiced, exaggerated way). It is crucial that The Man Fridge be a shallow depth because there can never be items placed behind any other item. They will never be found if placed behind other items. 

The third key feature of The Man Fridge is that it is self-cleaning. I haven't quite worked out the technical details on that yet, but leave it with me. 

As well, The Man Fridge has an internal sensor that lets the user know if there is a very small (i.e. three teaspoons) amount of milk left in the bag, or if it is the last piece of pizza, pie, cake, what have you, so that the dominant male can leave the milk bag exactly as is, or can consume the last piece of something without asking if anyone else wanted it.

The Man Fridge comes in a few different styles: industrial, retro, camo, pub, or embossed with favourite team or automotive logo. It always gets delivered to your home with no assembly required at a convenient time. (I am later editing this to add that my own dominant male thinks this is a fabulous idea and contributed the clear glass door feature to the overall design. )

And there you have it: my millions await.


Additional New Info:  I just read this post, including the comments, to my husband as he is making a mess on my glass top stove cooking his eggs (see, he is not useless in the kitchen). He wanted me to add another feature that ties in with the self-cleaning feature. He said there could be, along with purchase, a pre-scheduled person to come to your house every six weeks who will clean the fridge. At which point I just said to him that if I add that to the post, every woman who reads it will roll her eyes and say, "My god, he actually thinks that the fridge only gets cleaned every six weeks?!?!"
I rest my case. 

36 comments:

  1. Only thing I'd change is the remote. My man is a technophobe. Maybe he just needs an ice chest to think of it.

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    1. That's o.k. because likely the remote would get lost... so you would need to be able to manually operate the doors, too. The remote is for those who already have and love several different kinds of remotes for a variety of things (e.g. the ceiling fan! )

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    1. Canadian version is called Dragon's Den (featuring some of the same Shark Tank people). I'm a bit frightened of some of them! My daughter LOVES the show - maybe she could make the pitch.

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    2. Those people are seriously intimidating. I don't like that show, though I can say I know a couple of people who have pitched and won!

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  3. OMG, Jenn, you are so right. I hate to think there's a bit of laziness involved in the men going thru the fridge...know what I mean ?? I love that eyelevel style, with see thru doors of course, and the sensors...please do not forget the super magnets that will pull the door completely closed. LOL I am still laughing. You know man foods are usually kind of stinky too. Blessings, xoxo, Susie

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    1. Great idea about the door closing magnets. Actually, I'm a little guilty of leaving doors slightly ajar. I think it's because I don't want to slam them. I agree with the "stinky food".

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    2. Our refrigerator door beeps if it's left open. My husband says it just likes telling on him.

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  4. It might have to wrap around several walls to hold all the jars/bottles of olives, eighteen varieties of hot sauce, etc. Brilliant idea.

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    1. Maybe there could be extensions that could be purchased separately to attach to the original Man Fridge to accommodate such things: a sauce extension, a beer extension, a cheese extension (my husband would want that one).

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  5. I'm the finder in this household too and I guarantee that if you can get funding you'll make a million with this.

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  6. This made me smile and brought back memories too. My parents, now long dead, had the same routing. My father would go upstairs for his bath and to put on a clean shirt. He would call downstairs that he couldn't find his shirt. Mother would shout up instructions and after remmaging about Father would shout that it wasn't there. Mother would steam upstairs and always say the same thing as she found the shirt immediately "First thing I clapped my eyes on!"

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  7. Oh that did make me laugh.
    I could definitely do with all my cupboards being like that.
    Hugs-x-

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  8. Two extra things and this could be perfect. A flashing digital read-out of all contents (with stars for best options), and a bar-style beer pump on the side.

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    1. Thank you for some more male input! Beer on tap would just be the icing on the cake! (was that a ridiculous metaphor, or what?) The read out is also perfect - no need to think, "what shall I have to eat?"

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  9. Very funny but also a great idea. I chuckled because I just cleaned out our frig & that's the number one rule, don't "hide" things behind something else. ... Mary-Lou =^..^=

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    1. I admit I can somewhat guilty of forgetting about things that have been shoved to the back of the fridge. I won't even describe the leftover cream cheese I unearthed.

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  10. You are too funny! And so true about the woman finding everything!
    My boyfriend always makes a mess of the stovetop too....and the sink! Hahaha!
    Enjoy this soggy weekend!
    Cheers!
    Linda :o)

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  11. Was your husband alerted to the need to find his veggies? I would have used a felt tip pen to label them boldly with his name. Rachelx

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    1. No, I believe this time he was left to his own devices. I have, on other occasions provided him reminder notes about things (usually with a smiley face added so as not to seem like a nag). Your point is well taken.

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  12. I am convinced not being able to find things is a strong male trait. (Either that or we take too good care of them so they lose this part of their self-responsibility.) 'Twasn't too long ago that my husband was rummaging in his underwear/handkerchief drawer (yes, he still uses handkerchiefs) and stated he had to buy more because he only had a couple. I went to the drawer, dumped everything out, rearranged it into neat piles and pointed to the thirty-two (yep, I'm not kidding) handkerchiefs he had in there.

    I can tell my husband that some particular thing is in the refridge (color of container, size, placement on which shelf, etc., etc.) and he still cannot find it without help. Your Man Refrigerator is ingenious. Unfortunately, we'd all have to redesign our kitchens to install it. And you know the kitchen is the most expensive room in the house to remodel so we may have to keep taking our menfolk by the hand and showing them where what they want is. You know, in that big, huge, gargantuan box that has maybe three/four shelves in it. ;o] Sigh.

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  13. BAHAHAHA! Oh, this was just too funny. And your idea is brilliant! I am also the one that locates everything in the home...everything. Ask me where anything is and I know exactly where it is (what room, what shelf, what drawer...). And with the fridge stuff, my husband will open the fridge and stare for what seems like forever when I ask him to get something out of it that is literally right in front of his nose. He just stares straight ahead and doesn't seem to focus on anything, like he's looking right through the fridge. LOL And heaven forbid if the item is on a lower shelf or behind another item or the same shape, size or colour of something else. I sometimes think only women have a locator gene :)

    How about some voice activation on your invention to add extra help for the seriously challenged? Like Siri for Apple, for example. Call yours Jenn. "Jenn, where is the butter?"

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    1. I laughed when I read that last suggestion. If it was called Jenn, there's a pretty good chance that the response will be sarcastic, or at the very least, prefaced by a big sigh. Does Siri ever sigh?

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  14. My husband has the same affliction - only he accuses me of "losing" whatever it is he can't find. When I tell him it's where it ALWAYS IS... he says no, I just looked there. Which means when I go look there, it will be exactly where I said it was.

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  15. I laughed! I'm a good finder. Rick is always calling me to find a check he has lost or whatever. I'm not so good with my own stuff! All that said, I think you have something there. (My cousin and I invented caffeine free Diet Coke long before it showed up in the real world! Unfortunately, we did nothing with the concept -- so I say go for it!

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  16. Jenn lol, I so enjoyed reading this...you have to patent that idea!!! And...get yourself an army of like-minded men to do the 6-week upkeep hee hee....you'll make that mil!

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  17. Well, add my household to your loooong list of wanting one of these as SOON as it hits the market!! :D This is perfect for here at Ships Landing---lest you think your man of the house is the only one who can't find anything if it isn't right in front in line of sight..... ROFL

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  18. Jenn.. you are too funny! We call my #2 "the finder" because she can find almost anything. So true about the man fridge. Hope you have a wonderful week.

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  19. Oh my gosh this cracked me up, Jenn!! You're a genius, no doubt about it!! Glad your hubby got a kick out of it!

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  20. Love the idea of the Man Fridge! I think to be really effective it needs to reach round every wall of every room in the house, so that nothing ever has to be thrown away :)

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  21. Enjoyed that very much. I think your idea of a Man Fridge is absolutely brilliant. Ideal for the man on his own...or when the Goddess has popped out. Though you may want to create a Man Cupboard too. :-)

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  22. This is such a good solution to a universal problem... my household of my husband and our 18 year old son would benefit from your invention!

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