Think I could Make a Million?

If you read my blog, you know I'm not a "basher" of any sort, so this is not where I am going with this. But if you are alive and living with , or have lived with, a member of the male species you are already well aware that there is a clear and distinct difference with how men and women think, how they take on tasks, how they prioritize.

I always used to pride myself on being someone who could find things. Seriously, if someone dropped an item and couldn't find it, I was in there, hands and knees, finding it. (These days, I would need to grab my reading glasses for close inspection). If a form, or receipt, or bit of paperwork went missing, I was the locator, eventually holding up the offending article. A familiar call of , "Mom! I can't find my..." was taken care of by me.

Because of this super power of mine, I don't find the regular day to day locating of things like my keys before I leave the house, the newspaper on the porch, the half of a mouse on the back porch mat, a laundry basket in which to put dry clothes a difficult task. In fact, I can find all the necessary food to create supper, or a snack, or any meal. We have two refrigerators. The main one in the kitchen holds 90% of our food and the one out in the mudroom tends to be for extra bags of milk, beer, an extra container of strawberries because there was a sale on if you buy two, the bag of apples because it takes up too much space in the other fridge... The food that does not need refrigeration has a few other locations, but none of them are top secret or require a map to get to.

So why is it that my husband cannot find things in the fridge? One day when I was cutting up fresh veggies for lunches, I made some extra containers and left one in the fridge for my husband. I asked him later if he liked his veggies and he said he couldn't find them. Along with the obligatory eye roll, I joked if it was because I hadn't left them at eye-level in front of everything else in the fridge. And that's when it occurred to me how I am going to make my million dollars!

I present to you a rough mock up of... The Man Fridge.

The Man Fridge is wider than most regular refrigerators. The first key thing to note about The Man Fridge is that it is to be mounted on the wall at eye level. This must be determined first upon receiving the appliance by measuring the dominant male in the household and then adhered to strictly during installation. 

The Man Fridge consists of four clear glass doors so that the contents of the fridge can be seen from the outside. The glass doors are opened by using a remote!!! A lifetime supply of batteries is also worked into the purchase price. 

Now, here's the second key feature to The Man Fridge. It is only the depth of one large Costco size bottle (of olives that nobody wants, or Stubb's Barbecue sauce, purchased only because it is fun to say in a low-voiced, exaggerated way). It is crucial that The Man Fridge be a shallow depth because there can never be items placed behind any other item. They will never be found if placed behind other items. 

The third key feature of The Man Fridge is that it is self-cleaning. I haven't quite worked out the technical details on that yet, but leave it with me. 

As well, The Man Fridge has an internal sensor that lets the user know if there is a very small (i.e. three teaspoons) amount of milk left in the bag, or if it is the last piece of pizza, pie, cake, what have you, so that the dominant male can leave the milk bag exactly as is, or can consume the last piece of something without asking if anyone else wanted it.

The Man Fridge comes in a few different styles: industrial, retro, camo, pub, or embossed with favourite team or automotive logo. It always gets delivered to your home with no assembly required at a convenient time. (I am later editing this to add that my own dominant male thinks this is a fabulous idea and contributed the clear glass door feature to the overall design. )

And there you have it: my millions await.


Additional New Info:  I just read this post, including the comments, to my husband as he is making a mess on my glass top stove cooking his eggs (see, he is not useless in the kitchen). He wanted me to add another feature that ties in with the self-cleaning feature. He said there could be, along with purchase, a pre-scheduled person to come to your house every six weeks who will clean the fridge. At which point I just said to him that if I add that to the post, every woman who reads it will roll her eyes and say, "My god, he actually thinks that the fridge only gets cleaned every six weeks?!?!"
I rest my case.