Monday 7 September 2020

Labour Day - the beginning of lasts

 Today marks the last Labour Day during which I will be mentally preparing myself to go back to teaching. The whole thing is surreal. It would be enough, in and of itself, to be the last of its kind, but it is also fraught with differences. When I return tomorrow, my own students will not be there. They do not attend school until the day after - Wednesday. Why? In order to ease the burden (?) on teachers, parents, I don't know who, they are staggering the arrival of students in elementary school. I can't speak for secondary school. But they completely got it very, very wrong. Instead of sending the older students, grades seven and eight, the first day, as they are more mature, can handle change better, can reasonably follow the "new normal" instructions... they are sending junior and senior kindergarten students. These are potentially three year, four year, and five year olds. You know, the little people who hug and touch and have NO CLUE what school is if they are junior kindergarten students. As well, the teachers of kindergarten students, I think, have the most complicated transition to Covid teaching. They are not allowed to have any "soft" items in their classes. That means take away any fabric, soft foam, toys, area rugs on which to gather and listen to a story, well no gathering at all actually. These little people who are usually taught to play together nicely and share are now being provided with their own space - perhaps a little desk or maybe one end of a larger table, and they will not be sharing. They will be provided with their own stash of wipeable, hard items which a teacher will be cleansing and letting sit stashed away out of view for at least 24 hours before another tiny person can handle them. The kindergarten students will mostly be arriving on buses, some will walk to school or be dropped off by a parent. In previous years, an older sibling or helpful older student would likely help to tell the tiny person that it is their turn to get off the bus, or show them where to go and what to do. Now they are on their own in a big yellow bus with no assistance, except for a bus driver who is distancing himself or herself from the children.


I'm not complaining about the rules for distancing or cleansing (although how in the world you are supposed to teach as well as wipe down surfaces and toys and make sure nobody touches anybody or shares a pretty mask or continuously washes their little hands is "challenging"), but why the least experienced, least independent students are being sent on the first day of school (no other students are coming that day) is beyond me and shows a disconnect between the decision makers and the people for whom this decision actually affects.


Regardless, these are the times we live in, whether you agree with them or not. I  must play by the rules, and so my students' desks are distanced as much as possible within my room. they have large labeled zip-lock bags containing pattern blocks, base ten blocks, hundred charts, letters for making word activities, math tiles and other counters. They also each have a wipeable dry erase board and a dry erase marker labeled with their own name. There will be no sharing. They will not be working together as partners or in groups. They will be hand sanitizing frequently throughout the day. Fountains are not to be used and are, in fact, covered in large plastic bags with criss-crossed tape and signs indicating so. Students are to bring a water bottle from home and designated times are set aside to use the one bottle filling station in our school. Students can remove their masks when they are outside at recess, but they now have "zones" marked off on the play ground or yard in which they must stay, so they are not mixing with different cohorts of students. The media is filled with the wonderful notion that students will be learning outside as much as possible. Yet, nobody has told us how to do that, while following the curriculum. Shall I get an extra long extension cord so I can wheel my  LCD projector and laptop out to the yard in order to show a video of an activity that we would normally have done if we were allowed to work together but now we don't have enough items in order to do the activities individually and I have to disinfect them before and after use?


I'm forgetting many other "new normal" details. It is a lot to wrap my head around, as an old goat teacher who would normally sail through the first week, drawing from years of experience and bonding with my new students, enjoying my time back with my wonderful colleagues. So, this last first day of school is filled with many emotions. Trepidation, happiness, resentment, stoicism, anger...  Who knows what emotions my students will be bringing with them that first day, but we'll soon find out.


Again, this post is not about whether or not the covid risk is there, or whether or not students should be returning to school. That is for personal opinions and everybody has them. This post is about what I thought my final first day of school would be like, what I've been working toward for 30 years, what it means to be in my last year (actually half year) of teaching - a profession to which  I've devoted a lifetime. The current situation has tilted my reality and it's a little tough to absorb. Everything I've known as a teacher of elementary school has changed. Something as simple as working with a student to help them out with something has changed. First day assembly won't happen. Team building activities in the classroom won't happen. Casually handing a pencil to someone who dropped theirs won't happen. I didn't make the rules, but I am expected to follow them and I will. It is surreal. I could never have predicted that this was how I was going to wrap up my career, and I know I am not alone in this, as university grads never thought they wouldn't be able to properly and formally celebrate their graduation, new mothers never thought the fathers of their babies could not be in the hospital room with them, grandparents never thought they wouldn't be able to hug and see their grandchildren, workers as grocery stores never thought they would be required to wear a mask all day long, the list goes on and on.  


With perfect pathetic fallacy, the day is grey and raining and windy - fat drops are hitting my window and the leaves and branches are rustling and moaning. It is a day for curling up in front of the tv and throwing in a load of  preparatory laundry and drinking red wine and eating toasted tomato sandwiches with my now ripe tomatoes (a highlight in my week!). I am allowing myself this one post to wallow and then no more. 


24 comments:

  1. I so feel for you. It is so sad that your last year, or half year, should have to be like this. I would think that you will be glad when you can put it behind you.

    We were self employed caterers and luckily were downsizing towards eventual retirement when this hit. It enforced us a practice retirement and we have now decided that we won't work again. We were very lucky that we had paid off our mortgage and as we are now spending less we will be okay.

    I had my 60th in May and couldn't have the family get together we had planned the year before but technology has been a great help in staying in touch. My second grandson was born in April and I didn't get to see him until a couple of months ago.

    I am just glad that we are all okay and we are adapting to this new way of life. I am glad I don't have to do what you are doing. On a lighter note we too have ripe tomatoes at last!

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  2. Jenn

    I just shared your post with my sister who also is as you a well seasoned teacher in an elementary school. She has echoed your post in many ways as her students are "distance" learning. They are not back in the classroom. She is the senior teacher at this school. And it is a school that my husband begin at in 1970. It is extremely sad that the resounding theme I hear from any educator in the classroom (most of them on board for multiple decades) is this is the last straw. This isn't what they have dedicated their life work to . The unknown are amazing and the effect is yet to be seen.

    I worry that we will see a large exodus of seasoned teachers close enough to retirement to reconsider the option early. And that will be a great loss as one doesn't last 32 years in that profession without having a lot to share with the new teachers. We are losing the those that pass on the knowledge to those new on the team. I also fear that we will loose some of those very marginal students in the process.

    Have a glass of wine in a toast to yourself and my sister for all you did, all you do and what will come.

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  3. My niece is a middle school principal. Her whole world is in chaos.

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  4. Feel for you, Jen. Hope tomorrow is not too harrowing. So glad I am retired!

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  5. All thanks to the orange clown !

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  6. You are not wallowing. It's an untenable situation for teachers and for students.

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  7. I hope everything goes as well as it possibly can for you and all your colleagues and students. I've been retired now for 3 years, and I'm relieved that I don't have to negotiate this school year. Stay safe, Jen, and know that we are all cheering you on!

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  8. A good and eloquent wallow, Jenn, and for good reason. I hope it all goes well for you this week. However it pans out, you'll certainly be able to distinguish your last year of teaching from all the others when you're reminiscing in your rocking chair on your porch in your dotage.

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  9. Surreal is a perfect description of the situation. Making this work has to be very difficult if even possible. I suspect the model you describe will evolve in to something better as defined by teachers. I feel bad for the little children coming in to the system for the first time.

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  10. The tilted reality is the most apt description I've heard. I cannot imagine how you will proceed, and can only wait to hear.

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  11. We are all muddling through, to a certain extent, but I think that the school openings are the most confused and confusing. My grandson will start pre-K but not for a few weeks after the older children return to school. That makes sense to me.
    This requirement that the teachers are responsible for the cleaning and disinfecting is, in my mind, ridiculous. There is enough prep work to be done without the extra duties. I can only say, I hope things go well and the children adapt quickly to their new normal.

    Take care and stay well!

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  12. Oh goodness Jenn. We are in such a difficult situation aren’t we? I don’t envy you your job or all those poor little children. It’s almost like Victorian times.

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  13. Wallow Jen, wallow. I've been having a few moments there in the pit of thought with you. You have made some very valid points about the kids going back - very tough decision for parents, teachers, gov't leaders. I know it is the situation we are in, but still I'm sorry that your last first day has to be fraught with such precautions, worries & new normal rules, my head aches with all of this. ... Mary-Lou =^[..]^=

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  14. Hello!
    I hope your day is going well. And feel free to wallow. I was a teacher myself, and I cannot imagine how hard this will be for teachers and students.

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  15. That didn't read like wallowing - it read like an informative window on a reality that many of us don't have to experience. That's the wonderful thing about blogs by people doing everyday things, we get to understand stuff that we might otherwise never have any contact with. Tough on you but at least you have the years and wisdom to understand the reasons, how do teach that kind of reasoning to very small children who are just responding to the human need to develop into complex social animals?

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  16. Does anyone else recognize "The Handmaids Tale" in this post? I was jolted awake when I realized that the country she and her family were trying to escape from was the United States. Sad, sad tale. Just trying to make it across the border to Canada. Government run amuck.

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  17. You nailed it. I can't even call this a new normal because there is nothing normal about no softies for the littlist. No hugs or sharing. I suspect when you get home from work today you will have stories to tell. The battles will be less on having them pay attention than keeping them apart. I wish you could learn outside and maybe there are some things you can do. But your season will be short - you are more north than I and we all know this season can be tricky.

    Wallowing is good. You are also a bright, creative thinker and I suspect a fabulous teacher and I know if anyone can find good strategies you can do it. I wonder what these kids will grow up like -- will they end up being afraid to touch people? A generation of germophobes? It will be interesting to see.

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  18. It sounds like a nightmare. Good luck

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  19. I can understand how you feel. If I were still working, I cannot fathom how I would do my work with all the new rules in tact. As it is, I miss going out with my little dog and my daughter. I miss doing things with my family. Thank goodness we have smart phones and can share photos easily. You're entitled to do a bit of wallowing. I'll even do some for you. You know, my cousin crocheted some beautiful lapghans for a local nursing home, and now because of Covid they won't accept them. So many changes now. So confusing. I'm praying it's gets better soon. You have a restful day, hugs, Edna B.

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  20. That makes absolutely no sense. All it's going to do is create stress for the children, parents and teachers. I see a lot of deep breathing in your near future. I, too, see the need for caution and it has been proven that following the rules does keep you safer. It's just so difficult with little kids - how are they to understand? I'll be thinking of you.

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  21. I am so sorry that your last year of teaching is going to be so challenging. I had thought about teaching but am glad I decided to finish my working years in the same ol job I've had for over 30 years. Of course, our jobs at the dental office have changed too, but not like you will be facing. I wish you the best....give it time. Kids are so adaptable.

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  22. Thank you for this account of returning to school, and teaching. It's important that the voices of ordinary people dealing with the changes at ground level are heard. I wish you well with your endeavours to educate the next generation. Best wishes.

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